Shut Your Mouth Unless You’re Eating & Maxim #4

…or breathing…or kissing.  You sly dog.  But when you feel that desire to tell everyone about your awesome new diet and exercise plan, don’t.  No, I’m not trying to keep this a big secret.  Far from it.  In fact, we’d love if you’d refer all your friends – fat, fit or otherwise – to our blog so we can keep getting good, unbiased and no-nonsense information out to the world.

The reason I don’t want you to speak about your actions and goals is twofold.

1) Talking about a goal gives your brain the same chemical boost as actually working towards or achieving it.  Why do it when you can just talk shit and feel good about yourself?  Shut up and work hard.

2) The person you’re talking to – or rather, at – probably couldn’t give a damn about your wild fitness success.  What’s worse, their insecurity will naturally lead them to deploy a barrage of their expert knowledge on you, gleaned from years of watching Dr. Sanjay Gupta on CNN.

Dr Sanjay Gupta's a brilliant neurosurgeon. Your friend Bill is an idiot.

Your personality type might preclude you falling victim to #1, but #2 is the real danger.  You  do not need people “bikeshedding” you when you’re trying to get your body right.  Bikeshedding is the phenomenon where people seem to become more opinionated on topics that are familiar, yet they know nothing  about.

Everyone knows what a bike shed looks like.  Carve out some space in your back yard, put up four walls, a roof and a door and toss a bike in there.  Bam.  Bike shed.  Done deal.  Easy.

How about a nuclear reactor?  Carve out a couple square miles, built a few 100-meter tall cooling towers, route some fresh cold water into a concrete chamber with 10-foot thick walls and throw some uranium up in that thang.  Wait, Uranium?  Plutonium?  Polonium?  New York Yankees baseball player Luis Polonia?  I forget.  See how much more complicated this is?  I can’t even get the basics right, let alone build an entire reactor with a hammer, some nails and a bike.  Most other people can’t either, so they tend to keep their opinions on atomic power to themselves.

Unfortunately, everyone on earth can imagine losing weight and despite any real-world experience, you know, actually doing it, they have opinions and advice for miles.  Opinions likely gleaned from questionable sources trying to sell them supplements or a magazine.  You don’t need 10 ways to get more defined abs or powdered bull testicle milkshakes.

Listen – most people don’t know a damned thing, and unless the person you’re talking to has actually achieved the specific goal you are working towards, should not be believed.  Everyone’s got a hypothesis.  Some people will tear you to pieces if you mention lo-carb.  ”Isn’t ketosis fatal?”  Sorry Doctor Bill, you’re thinking of ketoacidosis, something mostly experienced by diabetics and alcoholics due to inadequate insulin production. And yes, that will kill you real dead.

Others have advice that makes you wonder if their IQ is actually a non-zero number.  ”You know what you gotta do - you gotta chew sugarfree gum.”  If other people catch wind of what you’re doing and feel urgently compelled to talk with – or rather, at - you about fitness, just smile and nod.  Thank them sincerely for their advice and silently ignore all of it.

Maxim #4:  Words talk.  Actions Speak.  Shut the hell up and let them wonder how on earth you did it.

Did I help you today? If so, you can return the favor by tossing something in the tip jar. Pay what you want! You can also buy something from the Sleek Store, like your supplements for example.

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This entry was posted on May 17, 2012 and is filed under Maxims, Mind, Social. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.